Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
3pm strippers are depressing
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize