I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
