Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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