i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Your cock deserves a montage
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
