Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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