last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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