turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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