So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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