turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
