I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
