do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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