Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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