i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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