If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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