we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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