Pants 0. Shit 1.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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