My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
