I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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