I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
