Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
