this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Shame - the story of my life.
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