yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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