i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
