my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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