No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
