hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
