cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
