Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
