I can tuck mytits in my pants
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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