You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
