I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
