u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
