ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
