my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
porn star boner night. come get it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
