i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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