talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
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