no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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