Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
