I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
