just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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