i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
