I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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