when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
