There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
