We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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