you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize