So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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