So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
