The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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