Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You've changed since you got that strap on
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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