just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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