Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
