Your mouth is God's brothel.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
