YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
