On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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