What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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