Duck Duck Cougar?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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