First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
