It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its not stalking. its research.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
porn star boner night. come get it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
