I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
