I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
